Comedy Jokes
comedy jokes
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Just Plain Mean Lunch Box $9.98 From Just Plain Mean comes this lunch box featuring several Just Plain Mean acts on the front and sides. Great lunch box for those with a twisted sense of humor…. |
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The Three Stooges Character Shot Glass Set, Set of 3 $10.98 How about a shot? Why soitenly! Each stooge is featured on the front of his own shot glass with a classic quote and The Three Stooges logo on reverse. Intended for the adult collector and not for children…. |
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I Love Lucy – Here We Come – 12oz Mug Colorized version of the vintage photo of the Ricardos and the Mertzes setting out for Hollywood… “California, Here We Come!” On the other side, the classic I Love Lucy logo celebrating the 50th anniversary of the show. 12 oz. ceramic mug… |
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Weapons of Self Destruction $9.89 In the wake of a divorce, a stint in rehab, and open heart surgery, Robin Williams is back and better than ever in this side-splitting HBO stand-up special filmed live at the DAR Constitution Hall in Washington, D.C. Join Robin as he tackles such varied topics as healthcare, marriage, drugs, the Olympics, intelligent design, porn, and more. 89 min. Standard; Soundtrack: English Dolby Digital stere… |
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Jerry Seinfeld Live on Broadway: I’m Telling You for the Last Time $1.78 When Seinfeld wrapped up its ninth and final season in the spring of 1998, the popular show’s namesake and cocreator decided to offer a symbolic gesture to his fans. Taped for HBO in August 1998, on the final date of Jerry Seinfeld’s tour appearances at New York City’s Broadhurst Theater, I’m Telling You for the Last Time presents the standup comedian’s so-called “final” standup, or at least his f… |
Casino Comedy/lavell crawford
The Anatomy Of A Joke. . . How To Write A Great Joke
Want to add a few jokes to your next written piece? No problem. As a professional stand-up comedienne and writer who stays afloat by selling volumes of jokes each month (Clinton’s antics paid my mortgage and Bush isn’t doing too badly either), I’ll pass on some joke writing tips that’ll send you in the right direction. Since there are no formal “rules” to joke writing, I’ve made up my own. . .
Jokes involve a set-up with the subject and facts, and a punch line that highlights the irony, twists the joke in another direction, or gives an outrageous result.
RULE 1: Use familiarity, word associations and common assumptions. We know Strom Thurmond is old (okay, dead, but I like these examples, so play along), Liz Taylor is chubby, etc. So take your subject and list phrases, synonyms, stereotypes, sayings, people, places and things connected with it. If you do this when writing an age joke for example, and you want to describe how old someone is, then just list words you associate with old… and you may get – “I won’t say he’s old, but he babysat Strom Thurmond.” Or when trying to describe how chubby someone is, list out chubby people or things and you might get “I won’t say she’s chubby, but she gives her hand-me-downs to Liz Taylor.” You get the picture. Using an analogy is funnier than just saying someone is chubby or old. Also use familiar set-ups like “he’s so cheap…,” “this town is so expensive…”and brainstorm what things are cheap, expensive, etc. to get some comparisons.
RULE 2: Exaggerate things to the extreme. Saying Liz Tyalor is 400 pounds is funny, but it may be too close to the truth. Saying she weighs 1200 pounds is funnier because the picture of a 1200-pound woman is, just, well, funny. (Besides, noooobody weighs 1200 pounds, so you’re pretty safe… even 400 pound people will laugh at that one.)
RULE 3: Be brief. Bill Cosby can go on for hours with a single joke. The rest of us should only include facts in the set-up that NEED to be there for the punch to work. Delete unneeded adjectives and prepositional phrases, so that all words pertain to the punch line. I try to keep my jokes to 3 typed lines (not 3 sentences, but 3 lines). When you make a crack about Britney Spears fighting with Kevin Federline, her ex-husband, you don’t really need to say “her ex-husband.” Pretty much everyone knows his status. Really, less is better… unless you’re Bill Cosby.
RULE 4: Show the irony. That’s what you’re really trying to do is pull out the irony in a situation. Look at it as a good news/bad news… find the irony by listing out all the good and bad in a situation, either real or made-up, and then match them up to see the inconsistencies. “The good news is we’re giving out free tickets to the buffet. The bad news is, you’ll be in line behind Liz Taylor.”
RULE 5: Twist the joke. Give out a real fact in the set up, and make up a crazy (exaggerated) fact in the punch line. A lot of times punch lines are grouped in threes with the crazy fact at the end. Three things just seems to have a good cadence.
RULE 6: Speaking of punch lines, make sure the last word, or pretty darn close to the last word, is the zinger punch line. No prepositional phrases or other words after that word. Really, I’m not kidding. See these examples of jokes I sold:
“A new study has found that the anti-anxiety drug fluvoxamine is effective in relieving anxiety in school-age children. Of course, it’s not quite as effective as getting their braces off.”
The words “their teeth” don’t need to be included because we already get it and it would just slow down the joke.
“The first bloodless surgery was performed this week in which a kid who is a Jehovah’s Witness got a new liver without a blood transfusion. The parents were so happy, they almost celebrated!”
The word “celebrated” is the punch… no need to say “celebrated his survival” because we already get it and it would just slow down the joke.
RULE 7: The “Cuh” sound. A general comedy rumor is that words with the “c” or “k” sound are funny. Who knows if this is true, but ya gotta admit, the names Chuck and Cletus are funnier than Steve and Stuart. (especially if Chuck and Cletus are dating Liz Taylor… no?)
There are many more joke tips, but these will get you started so that people will read your material and you’ll achieve fame, fortune, and timely car payments!
About the Author
Jan McInnis, The Work Lady, is a corporate comedian and comedy writer who has performed at hundreds of private events, flying Southwest A LOT. She was recently featured in the “Wall Street Journal” as one of the “popular convention comedians.” Jan also sells comedy material to radio & TV daily, and she can be reached at
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Comedy Spotlight: Midwestern boy brings act to Jukebox
Tony Davis is an Indianapolis native and a 30-year brick layer by trade. Now a comedian he will perform this weekend at Jukebox Comedy Club. After three marriages and three children, he has plenty to talk about. He’s made numerous appearances on the “The Bob and Tom Show” and has appeared previously at Jukebox. He’s not rude or crude, just a midwestern boy spinning everyday experiences into jokes.
Do you know any funny jokes for a comedy routine?
I’m thinking of doing a comedy routine for my school talent show. I would be performing it in front of 12 and 13-year olds and teachers. I’m thinking of doing it on homework, like excuses for not doing your homework and stuff. Do you have any funny homework jokes or other joke ideas? It’s ok if you don’t want to tell me them because you don’t want someone to steal them but if you wouldn’t mind just naming one or two…
I hope you all laugh at my jokes this afternoon, because I’m getting graded on this for speech class. I couldn’t use my best material because I’m worried about drawing a detention. This is a tough room.
I went to camp last summer. Maybe some of you went to church camp or to football camp. I went to drama camp. I knew I was in trouble when I learned my coach’s name was Mr. Heckler. I can’t get no respect. I went to Manhattan with my family, and they voted me off the island.
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